I often wonder why God set up this dynamic. Why, oh, why, oh, why??? As always, I assume it must be a picture of God's relationship with us. We have to feel loved before we will come to Him, so He made the ultimate sacrifice so that we would never have to doubt His love for us. He gives more to us than we give to Him. Our husbands spend more time loving us in our way than we spend loving them in their way.
Unfortunately, it doesn't come naturally to a man, so your first fight will probably be traceable back to this truth. Whether you are arguing over how to fold the clothes or when to take out the trash or whose parents to visit, the argument will always boil down to this truth: YOU didn't feel loved.
Once he recognizes this, he will immediately try to kiss you or hug you (because that's how he feels loved), and you'll probably push him away at best, and more than likely yell at him. He will be perplexed, confused and hurt. He'll probably yell back or storm away depending on his personality type.
It will take a couple of hours to work everything out (mainly getting him to listen and understand). Then you will feel loved, and then he'll kiss you and wonder why it too so long because this is what he wanted to do in the first place!
Note: this is why kissing and touching during an engagement is sooooo deliriously wonderful for both parties. The man is getting his love needs met, and the woman is not only getting her love needs met, but surrendering her heart and soul.
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Another great book to read that helps explain this He needs, She needs misunderstanding is, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
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